Umm I'm too high to move.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
