...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
