some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
