i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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