3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
