Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
