Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
