I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
