I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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