I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
