I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize