butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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