i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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