my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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