she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
