I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
soo... how was my night?
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