The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
