Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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