Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
