Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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