Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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