Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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