I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
