The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
