You're my little dorito
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
