Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
