butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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