you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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