Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
