Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
