Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
