I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
