i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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