When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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