Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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