I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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