1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
