You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
BRING THE BAGELS
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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