perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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