I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
