ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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