He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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