nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
