if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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