then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
