She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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