I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize