i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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