Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
