I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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