ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
