I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
