Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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