My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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