I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
