someone get that fucking seahorse.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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