i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
